For much of my life, I struggled to find the equilibrium. I was on a seesaw - constantly shifting between the need to be liked, and the desire to speak my truth. The two often in conflict with one another; is it any surprise that I experienced, at some stage, that which Brene Brown describes?
It’s only really in the last five years, that I’ve learnt - and been brave enough - to be my authentic self. And this is still a journey of discovery. It’s meant there have been endings & beginnings; painful, scary, invigorating & liberating!
We often sit hiding behind ‘being liked’ for fear of what will happen if we show others what we are ‘really like’... a fear of rejection, abandonment and criticism... when as humans we crave connection, belonging and acceptance.
But what is the other option?
To prioritise being liked? To put others' needs always ahead of your own, to deny what matters to you & to lose your own voice?
When I have prioritized this in romantic relationships, friendships and my work; my greatest fear has eventually been realised. It has resulted in both myself and others being hurt as emotions build and manifest. I have lost a part of me, and the fire within me, the lust for life, has fizzled and died.
And I realised some time ago that this is no way to live my life.
You may feel like being liked is the safest and kindest way to live your life.
But, I would challenge you on that.
Be brave. Be courageous. Your heart and soul will thank you for it x